Can't sleep

Too many thoughts, dreams, in a haze, a fog if you will just dreading the day. Even Music and the Motorcycle cannot seem to drown out the sorrow, I didn't think I could be so sad, I've seen much loss, held some until their last breath and many loved ones go to some other place but this is hitting me hard. I'm dreading today, there is a dinner before hand but I can't go to that, I will wait, then get into the suit and go when its time. I saw a shell of what was her today, just a shell, she was gone to some other place...Too much loss, too much sadness, too much sorrow, too much...

Last two days

These last two days have totally sucked, i'm beat, i have one more day to go and a casket to carry... Lord help me, please...

No words

My granny passed away in her sleep this morning, i am so saddend by this it's beyond words. My Mom and Dad passed years back and this is just another example of my own mortality. I'm just just tired of all the death and the pain, why does it have to be so hard, this thing we call life...When I was just a boy I went and lived with her and my pa, they welcomed me, fed me, taught me, hugged me and loved me. We went to CB radio events, granny made me a shirt jacket with the CB handle embroidered on it Robin Hood it said, that was my handle back then, i once even won a brand spanking new CB radio for my pa, he was proud..When he passed I missed his smile, now I miss hers, I went to the graveside and pulled the weeds, took my best knife and cleaned up the place, the knife is just a thing even though it is my best, not ashamed at all, been crying all day, after all....she was my granny... It's a sad day folks, a sad day....Service is at 2 on Saturday in Muldrow, i'll be the one crying in a suit with shades on if your looking for me...