Time to break the cycle, to remove the pain pulsating through the veins but what to do, what to do. Confide in a stranger and ask for advice or stay on the path through the valley of the shadow. Could follow the unofficial approval melancholy list of home remedies that funded many for years or bite the bullet and go back to the hell hole. At this point it just seems like to much work and not enough time to do what needs to be done, too much pain, too much loss, to many unanswered questions and too much light...